7 WAYS TO INCREASE CONFIDENCE AND AVOID SHYNESS

 

7 WAYS TO INCREASE CONFIDENCE AND AVOID SHYNESS

 

Hey guys, Today I am going to talk about 7 WAYS TO INCREASE CONFIDENCE AND AVOID SHYNESS, So let's get started; Tony Robbins is one of my favourite, who I also believe as my virtual mentor  Now, he says a very interesting thing  He says that success and quality of our life depends on the quality of communication  And there are 2 types of communication  One which is commonly known to all  Which we do with others  On which maximum people's focus is there  Which is good  But, there is one more type of communication  Second, which we communicate with ourselves regularly  Now.

 

the sad thing is that, the communication we do with ourselves, we do not give importance to improve that much  Which sometimes is the reason for people not succeeding in life  Example, we many times say bad things to ourselves, we do negative self talk  Which starts making our reality also negative  Which is not correct  In fact that is why you can see in American Association Of people with Disabilities  That they explain their members, that they should not tell themselves as handicapped.

 

you should not associated yourself with this limiting tag  Even you might have noticed that earlier who were addressed as handicapped, are now addressed as differently abled at many places  Not handicapped  Because,  a person everyone and most important he himself calls him handicapped  If he feels himself as handicapped. 

 

Then he feels that he cannot do anything big  Due to the limitations that he has  Whereas the truth is that you might have seen many differently abled people  Who in spite of not having both hands and legs, have achieved many big things in life  And they can do it because, they do not call themselves handicapped again and again  Nor do they think they are handicapped  So, similarly if you all feel that you are shy, then stop associating yourself with this "s"  word  That I cannot talk with anyone.

 

because I am shy  As I am shy I cannot do this, I cannot do that  No, Instead you should think that actually you are a confident person and the reason for not talking to others is just a small fear  Which will get over today or tomorrow  Now this simple self communication difference will help you a lot  Hence, first shy buster to become confident is that  Avoid the S word  Now.

 

this was the first point  Now I will share with you 6 more such points  Which if you are a shy person then it will help you in finishing your shyness  Or even if are a normal confident person  Then also it will help in boosting your confidence.  

 

Shy Buster 2  Use probability  Suppose there is one boy with name Mr. Shy, he goes to a party  Now, in the party he sees a very beautiful girl  Who is 10 out 10 in looks  He likes her very much  So after thinking a lot, after gathering a lot of courage, he finally goes to her  And says her Hi!   But that girl directly ignores him and goes away  Now.

 

you say what would have happened to Mr. Shy's self esteem? 

 

Obviously he will get a shock due to that  And my be he also decides that he will never approach a girl after this  But, guess what  There was one more girl in that party  Who was around 6 or 7 in looks  But she was interested in talking to Mr. Shy, but mr. shy did not talk to her  As a result, he will not be having confidence to talk to that girl also. 

 

Why?  Because, most of time rejection and failure,  demotivates people completely  And it finishes their confidence completely  That is why it is very necessary to have self awareness  To understand, what are you capable of doing and not doing  This is important for confidence. 

 

Example, suppose you want to make many popular friends  Then for that, do not approach them directly  Where chances of rejection is more  But, go to those people who will accept you easily  And then gradually increase your friend circle  This strategy will increase the chances of winning  And it will increase your confidence also  Shy buster 3  Power of rejection  Walt disney was removed from his first animation job  By saying that he lacks imagination  And he does not have any nice ideas. 

 

After which he opened his own studio, which got bankrupt in 1923  Because everyone had rejected it  Still he kept on moving ahead  And he opened one more studio with his brother  Which he named as Disney Bros.

Studio  Which today is know as Walt Disney company  Now, in last point I had told you that you should set easy goals in starting  So that there will be less failures and your confidence will increase  But even better and faster way to become confident person.

 

if you make rejection you friend instead of getting afraid of it  See rejections are common in life  It will come today or tomorrow  But, if you will be afraid of it  If you will always think to avoid it  Then you will never be able to move ahead  Example, if Walt Disney also would have lost in front of rejection and had left everything. 

 

Then today today we would not have iconic characters like mickey mouse and donald duck  So see rejection as stepping stone  In fact, I had learned from an online trainer that face as much rejections you can, regularly  Because, one day you will be such a person  who is not at all affected by rejection  Then you will a person who is unstoppable and who can achieve anything  Shy buster 4  Part time job  There was a boy named Freddie.

 

whose height was 5 foot 11 inches  He was very tall and healthy, he was like a bodybuilder  But, still he was very nervous and he always used to feel shy  One day he got a call from his friend  Who owned a Disco  He said to freddie on call that his bouncer has not came today  So can he take his place for 1 day? 

 

And freddie accepted this  And he became bouncer for that day  And the good thing is that he did not feel shy while doing that work  Because at that time people were looking to him a bouncer and not as the tall boy freddie  And that is why in future also he worked as a bouncer many times. 

 

Because freddie got help from that, in removing his shyness  And in becoming a confident person  Many times when a person feels shy, the main reason is his fear  His fear of getting judged by people for his personal thing  So there is a way out for this  Take a part time job  Do some service job in which there is more human interaction  Like a cashier in some food chain  Even Valet parking  Or even a job of a waiter will help  Now.

 

many people will think waiter? 

 

I have not got that bad days  so I will say one thing to such people  The author himself has worked earlier in his life as a cashier, waitress and even worked in a saloon  Plus many millionaires and billionaires of world also did so called small work initially  Which actually helped them in growing  Because, by doing such work, we have a saying "thick skin man". 

We learn to be a person like that  Which is very much necessary in this tough world  Hence do  not have small thinking  No work is big or small  Plus remember these type of work can be helpful in building confidence  You should take them positively.

For example, in these type of part time jobs, no one will judge you for your looks or personal things  Which is sometimes a very big reason for shyness  Along with that, it will help you in learning necessary people skills required in life  And it will also earn you some money. 

 

So I think this is one of the best practical way to increase your confidence    Once the author was visiting one company  At that time she suddenly got lost  At that time a lady was passing from there  She helped the author to reach to her destination  Author told her thank you: 

 

And then asked her by the way you are from which department girl? 

 

Then that lady felt shy and told, that I am just a receptionist  Now, after listening this, author really felt like explaining to that lady   Because that lady was considering her job as unimportant  So author scolded are slowly and told her  No, you are not just a receptionist  But you are "The Receptionist"  Understand your importance  And never feel yourself small  Author says, even if a companies CEO also will hate his job  Then he will not be able to do it properly  And he will become a loser  But if even a gardner.

 

will like is job   Will do his job in a best possible way  Then he can do thousands of things related to gardening and become a very successful man  So you should always understand the importance of your work  And never have low self-esteem  Shy buster 6  Work and skills  You might have seen, that some students cry even after getting good marks in class  I got only 75%, I got only 85%, I am so stupid  Where as some students even after getting 60%, by securing just passing marks also they do party. 

 

They think that they did great job  Now, the matter to think is that the person who have secured just passing marks  Or have secured less marks  Many times it is seen that, such people give jobs to top students of top colleges in their companies. 

 

Why?  One reason is that, such people have high self-esteem and high confidence  They understand the value of their work  Which makes them unstoppable  Whereas, shy people imagine their achievements and their title poorly  They believe themselves less as compared to others  As a result their confidence is always less  That is why you should definitely do this two things  First, understand the value of yourself and your work  Remember you are special and unique  And second very important point  Whatever work you do, try to it in the best way  Try to do best work. 

 

So that people also say that only you can do this work in the best way, no one else  Plus if there no requirement of lot of skills in your work, then keep on learning new skills  And become its master  Because when you will be an expert of anything, you will do your work in the best way  Then it will give you confidence  And will make your confidence very high  Because due to that you will be higher than others. 

 

At least on the basis of your work  Which is actually very important also  Shy buster 7  Target approach  We can see in Sachin movie that, how in childhood his coach used to give him coins as rewards  If he would save  the coin from falling from the stump  Now by using this simple trick  Used to motivate sachin from not getting clean bowled  And there is no need to  tell you that, it was very difficult to clean bowled sachin in professional cricket  Now, an important question related to this: 

 

How can we achieve this shy busters in a better way? 

 

Well the answer is, with target oriented approach  Example, if are going out ot eat something  Then you can keep a target that you will compulsory talk to an unknown person for 5 minutes  And if you achieve this target then only you will order your favourite dish, otherwise you will not  In the same way you can attach each shy buster technique with a target  Which will help you in achieving it  Now these were the 7 things that I have told you from the book "Goodbye to shy".