21 Days to change YOUR LIFE -Challenge

 

21 Days to change YOUR LIFE -Challenge

 

Hey guys!  Today I am going to talk about 21 Days to change YOUR LIFE, So let’s get started; A few days ago, an incident happened with me which made me think!  Actually, I go to gym nowadays!  Yup!  Yes!  To lose weight!  I go to gym on bike!  I park my bike in the parking,  and my gym is on the first floor!  And it takes around 2-3 minutes to reach there! 

Table Of Content: 

1. Don’t Waste Your Golden Time

2. What If You Not Work In Your Phone : What Happened To Us

3. What is it?  And why is it creating so many problems in our life?  How can we deal with it?  How can we get out of this addiction?

4. You know what they did this time? 

5. You know why are so addicted to social media? 

6. So, how to cope with it? 

7. Now what shall we do? 

8. Now you'll say, what's the need to do these extreme things?  And why should we do it? 

9. So, what would you like to eat? 

10. What she did at this time? 

Don’t Waste Your Golden Time

You know what I do in those 2-3 minutes?  I take my mobile out,  and start watching reels one after one! On this, my friend who is my business partner also, has hit me many times,  that you've become addicted to reels.  But I ignored him many times.  And that day, I also realized that it's not about those 2-3 minutes,  even after going to gym,  when we do sets,  and when we get some time between those sets,  in that too, I start scrolling my mobile. 

And it's not about just me.  I've seen many people doing it.  Whenever we get even a little time,  we start scrolling on mobile.  And because of this, my gym trainer keeps everyone's mobile in his pocket.  So that they can focus on gym. 

 

But this is not happening!  It's not about just that!  You must have seen many times,  we are also getting very hungry! 

 

If we feel hungry and don't get food early, we start getting angry!  Many a times, when we try to sleep early in the night,  we can't sleep!  Again at that time, we start scrolling on mobile,  and waste a lot of hours. 

 

Due to which many times we aren't able to wake up early in the morning,  which we think we will wake up!  And I've noticed many such things in me and others.  If I tell specifically, I've noticed four things.  First of all,  attention span is decreasing excessively. 

 

What If You Not Work In Your Phone : What Happened To Us

We don't have patience for deep-work.  Doing deep work for hours is too far,  if we start watching series for time pass,  we are not able to finish it.  Because, we start feeling bored. 

 

Second thing,  many a times, when we go for workout,  or to meet someone,  the connection of our mind with our body,  or with other person,  stays weak many times. 

 

 

Why?  Because we stay distracted because of our mobile phones,  because of which neither our muscles made many times  nor our relationships.  Third thing,  can't sleep well at night these days!  And fourth one,  we are getting addicted to junk food. 

 

Now, the sources of those four problems can be different,  but there is one common reason behind all these four problems.  What's that?  That reason is dopamine.  Dopamine, which we call 'feel good hormone'.  It plays a big role. 

 

What is it?  And why is it creating so many problems in our life?  How can we deal with it?  How can we get out of this addiction?

 

Not just for short term, but for long term.  I am going to tell you all these things,  with the help of a book named 'Dopamine Detox' by Thibaut Meruis.  It's very interesting book.  You'll learn a lot of things.  So, let's start with first lesson of the book! 

 

In 1989, Edward Thorndike did an experiment.  What he did,  he kept some cats in a puzzle box,  and put a fish out of that puzzle box,  due to which those cats got excited.  And then those cats used to act randomly. 

 

Cats were not able to understand in starting how to get out?  But then they found a liver.  And when those cats presses that liver randomly,  due to which that box opened instantly,  and then those cats ate that fish!  Means, they got a reward!  Got a dopamine hit,  and after which when that experiment was done again,  that cat understood,  that I press the liver, I'll get fish! 

 

Their habit started to develop,  that they started doing it repeatedly!  Inspired by this experiment,  psychologist Burrhus Fedric Skinner who is also called B.F. Skinner,  he also did some experiments.  I'll tell you three different experiments,  from which he got three various findings. 

 

What he did in first experiment,  he put a hungry rat in a cage.  After which the rat was roaming here and there to eat!  He was not getting any food!  But he found a liver!  And when he pressed that liver randomly,  he started getting food in that cage! 

 

From which he learned one thing, that was positive reinforcement.  Means, whenever I do this behaviour, pull this liver,  I'll get a reward i.e. food! 

 

Which concluded  whenever you get positive reinforcement,  means when you get a positive reward because of your actions,  then we do that thing. 

 

The thing was,  those rats were press the liver when they were hungry!  Otherwise they didn't press it.  Now, what they did in second experiment,  this time they put the stuffed cats in the cage! 

 

Now obviously they were not feeling hungry,  so they weren't doing anything.  They weren't pressing the liver.  But they started giving a little shock to the cat. 

 

Due to which that cat started suffering here and there!  It started doing something,  and when it pressed the liver,  it stopped getting shocks!  Now, that was negative reinforcement. 

 

Because of which whenever the light comes on,  and the cat knows that it is about to get shocked,  it would quickly go to the liver and press it!  So that it doesn't get shock!  This experiment concluded that  whenever we get negative reinforcement i.e.

 

suffering,  we take action,  do something.  That's also fine!  Third experiment is the most interesting one. 

 

You know what they did this time? 

 

They put rat in the cage,  whose stomach was full.  But after sometime when it felt hungry,  he pressed the liver,  because he had learnt that food comes when the liver is pressed.  But this time, the food didn't come.  Then it presses one more time.  Then, a little food came this time.  Then it pressed again and the food didn't came. 

 

When it pressed one more time, food came again!  Basically, when the rat pressed the liver many times,  they started getting different rewards at different times.  due to which you know, that rat was not pressing liver just to get food,  after that, the rat got addicted to pressing liver. 

 

Because it was getting variable rewards.  And this is called Dopamine Variable Reward System,  which is very addictive. 

 

You know why are so addicted to social media? 

 

Well, the answer is that all these things happen on social media.  We get positive reinforcement,  means whenever we scroll,  swipe our finger from downside to upside,  we start getting rewards.  We see various videos and photos,  which gives us dopamine rush.  And again, the rewards are very variable. 

 

Sometimes we see good pics, sometimes we see bad pics,  Sometimes we see good videos, sometimes we see bad videos,  we don't know what we are going to see next. 

 

Due to which we get addicted to this system.  And guess what, it's systematically created!  Social media companies created these systems,  to make us addicted.  And behave like that rat,  who keeps pressing liver in uncontrollable amount.  In our case, it's scrolling. 

 

Now, because it is psychologically fulfilling,  and is engineered in such a good way,  that's why you can say, we have become addicted to mobile phones. 

 

So, how to cope with it? 

 

Let's see this!  Well, the first thing,  the first thing that Thibaut Meurisse says in his book,  'we should take a 21-days dopamine detox challenge'.  I want you to take this challenge too.  In this, we have to stop ourselves to get dopamine rush as much as possible.  Means, stop using social media,  stop using social media, Netflix,  no alcohol, no cigarets, no porn, no tea  no coffee, no music, no video games. 

 

NO outdoor activities,  no fap, no meeting friends, no gossips,  no productivity work.  Now you'll says, author has refused to do all the things. 

 

Now what shall we do? 

 

Author asks to do these substitute things.  Drink water,  go for runs,  do stretching,  do meditation,  do journaling. 

 

Obviously this challenge would be so difficult,  but if you do all these things, your dopamine would come to the base level.  Our dopamine has become over stimulated.  Means, we keep getting so much dopamine rush,  due to which we are not able to live normal life. 

 

For example, if a person starts doing drugs,  then you notice, in starting, he takes a little bit of drugs,  and he enjoys. 

 

And then he doesn't get same happiness with same amount of drugs.  Due to which, he takes more drugs.  And takes more drugs.  His base level of hitting the dopamine keeps increasing.  And he doesn't feel the same high,  even after taking a lot of drugs. 

 

So, if you want to bring it to the base level,  like drug addicts are sent to rehab,  in the same way, you also can take 21-days challenge. 

 

See, if I give you my personal opinion,  if you can't do so many things, then it's okay!  I suggest you to start with just one thing. 

 

At least, quit social media.  Don't use social media for some days.  And if you watch a lot of Netflix,  stop watching it.  Take one or two things,  and think of not doing it for 21 days. 

and very little if I do, negligible!  It will help in maintaining the dopamine level.  You have to do this thing.  Author talks about a concept called 'Starve your donkey'.  Basically, the relationship between your mind and body is like a person sitting on donkey.  Where your mind is the person,  and your body is a donkey. 

 

Means, if you put a carrot in front of a donkey,  it will start moving forward.  Similarly, if you get too much porn, caffeine, movies, cigarette, partying, gaming,  or eat sugar,  or consume anything in excess,  our brain releases dopamine very much.  After which you you feel like doing that thing again! 

 

Now you'll say, what's the need to do these extreme things?  And why should we do it? 

 

There is a reason behind it.  Let me explain you a concept,  which author calls 'Starve your donkey'.  For example, if you are sitting in front of a table,  on one side, there are lots of chocolates,  Ferrero Rocher and many foreign chocolates.  And on the other side, there are carrots! 

 

So, what would you like to eat? 

 

Obviously, your mind and body would go towards chocolates!  Because you'll get more dopamine rush on eating chocolates!  See, eating chocolates once in a while isn't bad! 

 

But nowadays, the scenario of chocolates and carrot,  has gone to steroids, you can say!  Means, we are getting chocolates everywhere!  Like McDonald, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, Netflix  we are getting chocolates from everywhere.  We are getting a lot of dopamine,  without applying so much efforts. 

 

Again imagine, there is a person sitting on a donkey.  Person wants donkey to take him to the destination.  To do this, that person keeps a carrot in front of that donkey,  with the help of a stick!  Due to which the donkey moves forward in order to eat that carrot. 

 

And he takes action!  And that donkey keeps moving like this!  But one day, that donkey gets a lot of food!  He gets a lot of good things.  And his stomach is full!  On that day, if the rider puts carrot in front of him,  do you think, that donkey will move forward?  It won't move because his stomach is full!  Things like carrot won't motivate him!  Actually, this example is a metaphor. 

 

You know, that's our body, you can say!  And that rider is our brain!  Sometimes, our brain asks our body to do exercise,  work on your goals, make video, do all these things.  

 

But our body doesn't agree!  Why?  Because our body is getting a lot of dopamine very easily!  TV, drugs, alcohol, social media,  because of all such things. 

Due to which our body doesn't get motivated to take actions!  So, that's very important that we take drastic step,  in which we can starve this donkey,  so they it feel so hungry that if we put a carrot in front of it,  it can start moving.  Why?  Because it'll give dopamine! 

 

Will definitely fill its stomach!  That's why this 21-days challenge can help you a lot!  Many people have done this challenge and got results too.  If you agree to this and start doing it,  remember one more thing along-with that. 

 

Which author calls 'Concealing the ache'.  Means, relapsing.  Many times it happens that we try to come out of an addictive thing.  We do that thing for some days but feels like doing it again after some days. 

 

So, what should we do to avoid it?  Let's take an example to understand this!  You know, famous sitcom named 'FRIENDS', you must have seen it,  in that, Rachel Jennifer had started journaling at the age of 13. 

 

And she says, when she was in a relationship,  there used to be a rough patch  like once she was probably getting divorced,  at that time, she was very emotionally vulnerable. 

 

What she did at this time? 

 

Still, she used to do journaling,  and journaling gave her a lot of strength.  If she wanted, she could take alcohol, weeds all these things to hide her pain.  She could get a huge dopamine release! 

 

But still she chose to face her demons,  means facing her emotions, problems,  by writing it down.  By journaling.  Which helped her to handle her emotions well! 

 

Now see, if we take such drastic steps,  like quitting dopamine things,  there are very high chances that we feel like depressed, lonely, anxiousness, scared.  Why?  Because we humans have all these feelings. 

 

But to escape all these things,  we start using mobile,  start distracting ourselves.  But if we quit all these things,  you can say, negative reinforcement will start happening.  We will start feeling lonely.  And we will feel scared!  At that time, there is an excellent way to handle our demons,  that is by journaling.