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how to make friends
Hello guys, Today we going to talk about how to make friends, So lets get started; Every individual Wants that other people should like Him, Because of their Emotional need, Even if you do not have any such need, still understanding this topic carefully is really important for you, Because we humans are social creatures, who to move ahead in life or to become successful, even if not this then just to be happy in life needs to be connected with people or have to deal with people at some point of time.
Table of content:
For this having Good social skill is very important Most of the people are successful not because
they are talented or smart But the most
important reason for their success is their social skills and other people like
them.
Because the Fact is most of the people in their
relationship, friendship or in a business do not work properly Instead some don't even like to see the face
of the person whom they do not like at all,
So today i will share four such rules, after applying it in your
life, people will start liking you and
side by side even your social skill will improve. so lets begin;
Easily become a good conversationalist
1) An easy way to have a Good conversation New York Telephone Company had once faced a
very strict and a rude customer, who
always used to call company and use to say bad thing to them , use to shout at
them Never used to pay Bill
properly, And also writes letter to the
newspaper company and says bad things about the telephone company.
Not only this but at the end he filed many cases against the
telephone company, After Facing so much
problem finally company asked their most experienced Trouble shooter Larry to handle the situation, who was also the
student of Dale Carnaige.
After which what happens is, Larry went and met the customer
and started listening to him carefully with full attention.
And listen to all his problems and agreed to him at every point, that customer talked to him anger almost 3 hours, Still Larry had not said a word in defence of the company.
later they both went,
Again Larry met him and took his another interview same thing happens this time as well, again Larry takes the interview this time as well Larry said nothing to that
customer and agrees to him at every
point and listen to him carefully.
as a result Larry Had taken 4 interviews of that
customer and before the end of that 4th
interview that customer makes Larry his chartered member of his special
organization Which He calls as Telephone
subscriber Protective Association He was
the life time member of that special organization.
in fact he was the only member Larry had listen and understand the customer
problem with sympathy without saying a
word in between or without interrupting him, and without doing any argument Because
of which that customer anger melt down and he became friend with Larry After which he not taken back all his
complaints but also paid all his unpaid
bills properly.
In this story that customer was thinking himself as a
defender, who was fighting on the behalf of others But actually he just wanted a listener, who
can listen to him and can understand his problems, which Larry had done properly similarly, most of the time people think
,that they need a doctor, but in reality
they just want a listener who can listen to them and can understand them.
Almost every person either A irritated customer, or a
dissatisfied employee or a hurt friend
needs an Empathetic listener, who can listen to them carefully and
understands them, But in this Busy life
people do not get this empathetic listener
so if you can become the empathic listener for someone and can
understand them and can listen to them
then this thing will make you more lovable, respectable and likable.
if you want opposite of it, means you want nobody should
like you or people should say bad about you behind your back or laugh at
you then do exact opposite of it, Do not listen to people, argue with them say
things in between, give your opinion at every point and always say wrong things and see how people will dislike you.
so to conclude, if you want people to like you Than allow the other person to speak more and encourage them to say more about themselves Remember, no matter who you are talking to, the more you talk about that person, the more important that conversation will be for them.
His tooth pain is more important than the people who are
dying in Africa due to hunger So Rule
No.1 Be a Good listener and allow and encourage other people to talk about
themselves.
Never do this and avoid trouble
2) If you don't do this you are headed to Trouble. Andrew Carnaige who was one of the richest
man in his time, was knows as a king in the steel industry Not because he was very knowledgeable
regarding steels or he was very smart, talented or highly educated In fact many people used to work under him
who were more knowledgeable and educated than him.
Here author says, the important reason for Andrews success
was his ability to handle and deal with other people He was a good leader who knows how to handle
and talk to people and his social skills were also good.
During His Childhood he had learned a very important and a
simple thing, When he was 10 years old
he had bought a Mother Rabbit, and took her at home After some time mother rabbit gave birth to
other small rabbits But Carnaige had
nothing to feed them, but he came up with an idea He gave offer to his neighbours kids.
if you bring or found food for small rabbits, i will give
them your name after listening to his
offer children happily agreed, At that
small age he understood how important a name is for a person. later in his life, many times he applied this
rule in his business, which benefitted him
Example;
Once Carnaige wanted to sell his rails which were made by
steel to Pennsylvania Railroad. He was
not understanding how he can make this possible and can sell his steel, so what he dis was, he opened a steel factory
at a Pittsburg placeand gave that factory a name called Edgar Thomson Steel Rails.
why? Because Edgar
Thomson was the president of Pennsylvania railroad So you guess after getting informed about
this steel works from which company Edgar had bought the steel Yes You are thinking right, Edgar Had Happily bought steel rails from the
factory which was name by his name and
the company was of carnaige.
Another matter of time,
there was a serious competition going on between the carnaige and the
Goerge pullman Because they both wanted
to get the deal from pacific railroad,
and because of this both of them were reducing the prices because of
which their profit margin was getting low.
so when Carnaige met the pullman, he told pullman Don't You
think we both are making ourselves fool
After listening to it Pullman asked Craniage What do you mean?
Then Carnaige explained everything in detail to Pullman And
suggested him instead of fighting we both should work together, and this will
be profitable for both of us Pullman listen everything but still it was not
satisfactory for him, After which he asked carnaige, All this is fine but What
will be the name of the company?
Then Carnaige said of course the name will be Pullman Palace
car company After listening this Pullman
smiled and asked him to come to his company so that they can have a detail
discussion and that discussion had
created an industrial history Earlier
People used to pay to the authors, so that authors can write their name in the
book.
Today as well people make things by their name, so that
others can remember them life time and
can remember them. A person name is
really very important to them , still we
do not give more attention to it.
which is not good,
Many Times it happens, we meet someone and ask their name and we do not
listen to their name carefully and
forgets, we do not put much efforts to remember their name Later, when we need that same person for
something for some kind of work then again we ask their name.
This thing looks and sounds small, but subconsciously it
gives bad impression to others To any
person their name is the sweetest sound in any language, Hence, we must put some efforts in order to
remember their names, This thing will
not only make you likable, but also helps you in your business and in order to
deal with others so Rule no.2 Always
remember people's names.
How to interest in people
3) How to Interest people
Edward Chalif was an active member of boy scout group Those who doesn't know what actual this Group
is all about, Let me tell you, Boy scout
is an organisation where training is provided to young boys in order to
increase their skills Like survival skills,
leadership ship skills etc.
Hence, these events are good, helps and teach many good
things to boys, That's why, Edward
wanted at least a boy from the group should attend huge event of boy scout
which will be happening in europe There
was Lack of money, Hence Edward thought to talk to a president of a corporation
for trip funds.
Before the meeting Edward had done a research about
president, From which he came to know
,once president had written a 1 million dollar cheque After the cheque got cancelled, he framed
that cheque and put on the wall, Because
it was a big deal at that time Edward
Genuinely found this thing very interesting,
so as he meet the president he requested President to show that cheque
which he had framed.
After looking at the cheque Edward said I haven't seen such
a big cheque in my entire life and i don't know whether someone had done
something like this or not Then Edward
asked president entire story, both of them talked a lot about the cheque
topic However between all this
conversation Edward had not said a single word about the boy scout.
After some time president by himself asked Edward 'Sorry I
forgot to ask you what was the reason you came to meet me' Then Edward Told him the reason and all the
requirements.
After listening to it President Not Only gave fund For 1 boy
but he gave for five boys expenses And
also gave money to Edward to go with them,
President had given 1000 dollars credit to Edward and also asked him to
stay 7 weeks in Europe. And He gave Edward his Branch President No.
for any need he can contact him And President also met them personally in
Europe After which he took Edward and
all boys to paris.
Edward said all these unbelievable things happened Because he had not discussed the things which
was important for him and not talked
about the things which was beneficiary for him,
All these things Happened, Because he talked about the things which was
important and interesting for the President
Hence if you want people to like you.
Try to understand what are the things, which are interesting
and important for other person. Then talk to them about their interest and
about the things which they like, This
will make you Gentlemen. So Rule No. 3
Talk In terms Of other people interest.
How to make people Like You
4) How to make people Like You, One day Dale Carnaige , while waiting in the
line of Post office noticed, That a
Clerk who works in the post office, always work in a low mood and have a fake
smile on his face And he is not happy or
satisfied with his job.
Then Carnaige Decides that he will make him feel good and
happy. Carnaige knows that the simplest
way to make someone feel good is to notice something about them and to compliment and appreciate them for
that thing. Hence Carnaige, think what
is the thing, for which he can give him a genuine compliment.
Usually its difficult to do, when you Don't know that person
nicely, But in this situation Carnaige
had noticed one thing immediately, so as
he reached closer to the counter to weight his letter's, with all Enthusiasm
Carnaige says to that clerk I wish my hair
would be like yours.
After listening this Clerk waits and gives a huge smile by
saying NO, its not that Great now, it
was much better before, For which
carnaige again reply, Yes Maybe, But still it is looking magnificent.
After which clerk feels very happy and looking clerk happy
even carnaige feels good. Carnaige talks
little more to that clerk and later goes.
After this Whenever author goes to the post office, Clerk always gives a genuine and a happy
smile to author Through this Author and
the clerk mood becomes happy and cheerful
All this happens just because of a simple And a Genuine compliment.
Every Individual thinks they are better in one thing compare
to others, and if you notice that one
thing and gives a genuine compliment to them.
Then for sure that person will like you, Because this will make that person feel
important and special. All the points
which i have mentioned earlier somewhere it is connected to this point.
Like To remember name, listen to them properly attentively,
allow other to speak more Talk to them
about their interest, Remember birthdays, all these things make people feel
important and special.
Billion of people are there in this world, but every
individual wants that they should be little different from others or more special and important then
others and when you do all these things
and make other person feel good important and special that person will for sure going to like you
even if they do not want to.
Because very few people in this busy life take the efforts
to make someone else feel good and special.
so if you want people to like you, so at first you genuinely start
liking them and start making them feel important and special This is the most power technique, This will
not only make the other person happy but
also will make you feel good so never
forget this rule. Rule no. 4 make others feel Important:)